Living Deliberately

So today I thought I would touch on the method behind the madness in naming my blog. One of my all time favorite quotes is by Henry David Thoreau:

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not when it came to die, to discover that I had not lived.”

I first encountered this quote like a lot of people well versed in pop culture (I’m pretty versed in literature as well, but let’s face it, I didn’t actually read all that much Thoreau) in the movie “Dead Poets Society” which is still one of my all time favorite films. I like the idea of “living deliberately”. I’m not perfect it’s a goal that is too far off for me to envision, let alone wrap my arms around. Perfection to me is like trying to see the Eiffel Tower from a top the Wasatch Mountains. I can be on a lofty mountainous plain, but I just can’t see France from Utah. I think I can be deliberate though. I can live to the fullest, do my very best, admit my mistakes, correct them, repent from them, and then try to be better in the future; that’s living deliberately. I can embrace joy when I find it, thoroughly embrace it, I can live in the moment, love in the moment, and make choices that bring more of those moments in my life; that’s living deliberately. While that may not be what Thoreau intended when he wrote this quote, I don’t think he would entirely disagree with my interpretation.

I find though that my problem in “living deliberately” occurs when life throws me a few curve balls. I know that there are things we can’t plan for, things we can’t change, things we can’t control, and things that we just have to accept as they are. I know that, but I don’t always like that, I work daily on the realization that there are a lot of things in my sphere of influence, but the things that I have 100% control over aren’t nearly as numerous. I struggle to learn how to best use my influence without trying to manipulate and control things, I struggle to use my influence to lead others instead of trying to force them to be the things I want them to be, trying to force and manipulate others is ultimately evil, it comes from the Father of lies, it is in a nut shell his entire plan. I rejected that plan in the pre-mortal existence, and I’m learning that using my sphere of influence vs. unrighteous control is a fine line to walk. I need to “live deliberately”, but I can’t force that on others.

So anyway, I’m trying to live deliberately and suck the marrow out of life and all that jazz, blah, blah, blah. It’s a good goal I think, I hope I figure out how to do it someday.

Enough philosophical meandering, let’s peer in and find out what the Cranes are up to:

Mommy: Working, it has been really busy the last few weeks, my “big” project that I’ve been working on all year launches October 11. It’s one of those VERY high profile projects throughout the company (touches not just our center, but many of our properties as well), and one I really want to go without a hitch; or at least without too many hitches. So far it has been really smooth, we rolled out the big piece that effects my office, last Friday, and that went really well. But I’m not sleeping much, and waking up in the middle of the night sweating little details I haven’t thought of, and sending out e-mails at 2:00 a.m. As I told our IT programmer last week, I’m not sure if getting an e-mail from me at 2:28 shows that I’m dedicated or unbalanced. Probably a little of both.

Daddy: Also working very hard at home to keep everything going. The house looks fabulous everyday, laundry done, dishes done, toilets cleaned, and all the other really monotonous tasks that I don’t envy, but are necessary to keep our home running. I appreciate all the hard work Rob puts into our home, he really makes it such a peaceful place that I am so glad to come home to each evening. On top of all of that Rob also finds time to oversee Jake’s social calendar, and dig holes in places that it really never occurred to me that holes were necessary. There were a lot of things about owning our own home that I knew would be “different” than renting when we bought 2 ½ years ago. I had NO clue that home ownership required so much digging. Ever seen the movie “Holes”? Apparently (according to Rob) home ownership is like that, only without Shia LaBeouf, (who’s really hot if I was, you know, into guys 20 years younger than I am), or any obvious treasure.

Jake: Pre-school, play dates, swimming, soccer, and more play dates, if “play dates’ are any indications (I’m not sure when kids stopped just “playing” and started having “play dates” but that is another issue) we are in deep trouble when Jake hits 16. Jake is a big fan of the play date.

We’re also working on not being such a picky eater. Mommy and Daddy have no clue where the picky eating gene came from, because mommy and daddy will eat anything that doesn’t eat us first (and that is apparent from looking at us). This issue is one of my biggest parenting struggles right now, and is a HUGE reminder to me just how little control I have on some things. My 4 year old is definitely teaching my some life lessons on understanding sphere of influence vs. unrighteous control. Of course I suppose the entire journey of parenting is just one big lesson on sphere of influence vs. unrighteious control. I believe Heavenly Father just smiles watching us on this one, and says “my child, do you think I feel any different everyday dealing with you?”

To which today I'm likely to respond "well Heavenly Father, you have to feel a little different, because, well I'll eat anything."