Go Team!!!

I just signed Jake up for basketball.

I've been avoiding this whole sports thing for awhile, it's not that I don't like sports, in theory I do, and I've watched a few in my life, and if there is absolutely nothing else going on, it can be pretty entertaining. As a spectator, basketball is probably my favorite sport. As a player, well I'm going to have to go with poker. Although if there is an article about sports in "The New Yorker" I make myself read it, just so I can say I'm well rounded.

So why have I been avoiding this sports deal? I'm not sure, I know part of it is that it seems to take up an awful lot of time with all those practices and stuff, which means I can't just open the door, and say "go play, and have fun", also the games tend to be on Saturday, and I kind of want to go do something fun on Saturdays, and well being a sports mom has never been my idea of fun. In fact it kind of freaks me out. I don't tend to be a helicopter parent anyway, and helicopter sports parents are just really, really loud types of helicopter parents, the kind that sometimes punch people. You can buzz around your kid all you want as long as you do it quietly, and I don't have to listen to it, but if you do it loudly it's going to bug me. I'm all for sports for fun, and as a great way to keep kids active, but it's a hobby people, your kid probably isn't going to be a professional sports player, let's bring it down a notch.

So to be honest, I kind of hoped Jake would be one of those dorky uncoordinated kids, like his mom, the dreamy kind that is absolutely mortified of doing anything that involves a ball of any kind; and just shrugs when I say "hey do you want to play basketball this year?", and then says "no mom, that would limit the time we have to hang out a museums". Sure it's kind of expected that your boy will play basketball (girls are making headway, but you don't get as many weird looks if your daughter isn't doing little league around here as you get if your son isn't), or soccer, or football, or baseball, or well it seems kind of expected that they play all of them, once each season. So I was hoping I could look like the cool supportive mom that supports my son's desire to be on the chess team, instead of the soccer team. I would look good with a banner that says "my son doesn't have to be a jock to be cool".

Except that isn't how it's working out, despite my best efforts to steer him towards things like drama (the kind on the stage, not the kind where little thing that happens causes an outburst, and breaking one's leg, and getting a hang nail are reacted to equally, the boy already has that down pat), swim team (you rarely hear about parents punching each other at swim meets, and concusions are at a minium in swimming), and dancing; he's actually athletic.

I know!!! It stuns me too!!! And I know I'm suppose to get that proud "look at my boy play soccer", or "hey look at him make baskets, and he's had no formal training", various people keep coming up to me saying "you know Jake is really good at this", and don't seem to notice the grimace on my face, the one that says "oh crap, now I have to let him play don't I?".

I did sign him up at one point, just so I could say "we tried it, he didn't like it" we did both soccer and basketball, he was too young, it kind of traumatized him, too many kids were crying, and I think he figured they must have had a good reason, so everything was going according to plan. That traumatic experience bought me a couple good years, where he just wasn't interested, and was afraid whatever was happening to the kids that were crying for no reason, was going to happen to him.

But my time has run out, and we're doing basketball this year, Jr. Dart's, and while all the other parents will be sitting on the bench cheering on their little Dart, I will be sitting on the bench praying "please let him not make a fool of himself, but not be good enough we actually have to consider a competative league".

I'm pretty sure that isn't going to win me "mom of the year" anytime soon, so I'm working on my cheers, and unfortunately I don't think I can get away with "2 4 6 8, all these sports I really hate".