I'm Back!!!

Although I'm not sure who I'm telling this to, because I'm pretty sure everyone has given up on me already.

My "break" was a bit longer than I thought.

I would try to update on what happened since I last posted, but let's just go with a lot has happened, yadda, yadda, divorce sucks eggs, yadda, yadda, life is busy.

I'm sure that will get everyone up to speed.

Really we are doing great, I'm so thankful for all the friends and family that have assisted in getting both Jake and myself through this difficult period of our lives, the out pouring of love has been amazing.

While looking back is always helpful, looking foward is even better, so here is where we are.

I'm still at my same job, and still enjoying it, although it's been extremely busy this year, which is good, because busy ususally means job security which is a very good thing.

The biggest change this year has been with Jake, after a lot of thought, and imput from people like the principal ("now where exactly to you live?") I decided that Jake needed to be at the school we are zoned for, and in our neighborhood. I spent most of the summer worrying that I had made a bad choice for him, but luckily that is not the case. There are very few parenting decisions one makes that you immediately know that you made the right one for your child, and you have to be thankful for them when they come.

Jake is SO happy at his new school, he loves his new teacher Mrs. Neiderhauser, and she was so sweet on back to school night she actually made me cry as she expressed how excited she is to be teaching 2nd grade again (she was working at Morgan last year to help with one of their programs but not teaching). I was really worried that it would be hard for him to change schools and make new friends, he wasn't worried, but I was, because that was hard for me. There are a lot of things that I hoped Jake wouldn't inherit from me, and my social phobias are pretty high on that list, and luckily so far he's been o.k. in that area. It hasn't really ever occurred to him that someone wouldn't like him. I can't imagine that, but it's a great thing to see in a child. His friend Milo from when he was younger is in his class, and he's fitting right in. I do think it is a bit easier for boys, as all you have to do is walk out onto the soccer field (or whatever sport the rest of the boys are playing) and join in and the next thing you know you have friends.

Jake also loves being able to ride his bike to school everyday. The first day of school, at a new school I thought for sure he would want me to take him to school, and help him find his new class. Um, yeah, not so much, he insisted he could do it himself, and when I asked him how he was going to find his classroom in a school he's never been to, he told me "it's room 14 mom, how hard can it be?" Touche! So with a lump in my throat, I watched him ride off on his first day of school, and even managed to not follow behind him in the car going 1 mile an hour, and yelling out the window "are you sure you don't need me". It's a bittersweet moment, that first surge of independence, and it's the hardest part of being a parent, that once they are born, you are slowly letting them go, and hopefully teaching them what they need to be part of the world. I feel so blessed to live in a place where for the most part Jake can be assured that the world is a safe place, at least for now, there will be challenges ahead in that area, but for right now, he can ride his bike to school, and I can stand in front and wave to him, and watch his hair fly as he takes off with his new sense of independence.

We've also established a nice routine in the afternoon, which was a primary reason to make this change. Mom has been great, and is coming to the house M-W at 7:00 so I can be to work at 7:30, and then be off when Jake gets home from school. We are able to do homework right after school, which is so much better than last year when we were both tired. He's a little behind the other kids in his English grammar because of the French last year, so we're spending a lot of time on that, but otherwise, he's right where he should be, and is one of the top readers in his class. Then once he's done with homework he can go play, and we live in a neighborhood where there are lots of little boys out riding their bikes after school. So far he's shown up with a new friends almost everyday, and he's being very responsible about following the rule that he can go explore as long as he tells me where he is going (plus I bought him his own phone this year, I have NO idea how our parents let us go explore without that little tool in our pockets).

One of my biggest goals for him since the divorce is making sure he has an absolute sense of security, not only that he is loved and cared for, but in his environment, and his ability to trust himself to make good decisions as well as how to handle mistakes. There has been enough scary stuff in his life at such a young age, and he needs to spend as much time as he can just being a normal kid, and he's certainly doing that, and growing to be a smart and fun little boy, who feels he can do just about anything. It's so great to see his confidence increase in so many things. There are still a few things we need to work on (mainly a little courage to explore new foods) but overall he's an amazing little guy and I'm so blessed to have him as part of my life. As is generally the case, I daily learn as much from him as I teach, and he's been blessed with so many great people and teachers in his life, that I'm thrilled to get to share him with the world. It's an amazing place to be, as scary as it can be, and I love watching Jake grow, and his constant curiosity about so many things. I love exploring his passions with him as well as sharing mine with him. I now know more about Greek Myths, Space, and the history of Marvel Comic than I ever hoped to know. And I have a more than willing partner to explore my love of musical theater (one of my proudest moments was watching "So You Think You Can Dance" and having Jake immediately be able to identify the number "Cool" as being from West Side Story), Classics (we have started reading a child's classic version of "Great Expectations"), and different types and genre's of music (recently we've been listening to Ella Fitzgerald, Elvis, John Lennon, and Lady Gaga).

I'm more excited about this year than I've been in awhile, so here's to being back, and um, living deliberately.