Joining The Circus

"Mom, I want to join the circus?"

I've been wondering the last few days how I would react to that, if that is what Jake came home and told me. Rob was in town this weekend to visit Jake and we had a chance to watch some of the videos that Aaron has posted of his juggling. Jake's brother is a professional juggler, he went to circus school in Kiev, he went to learn gymnastics in China, he made a living as a street performer in Europe, and now he entertains at a resort in a lovely beach location. Jake is pretty impressed by this, and frankly so am I, it's a good example of following what you love. It has all been an amazing experience, for Aaron, and he's a pretty amazing young man.

It's also made me realize that as laid back as I am, I am pretty conservative when I imagine Jake's future. It's not like I get to plan it, but I still imagine school, college, job,hobbies, and family. There is nothing wrong with those things in fact they are all really wonderful, and I would love for Jake to have a wonderful life with all of those things in it.

But what if he wants to join the circus? Am I capable of being supportive of that? What if he want to work enough to make money to be a ski bum the rest of the year? I know someone that has done something similar, he is a big outdoors guy, so he works during the summer as a river guide for an exclusive tour company (millionaires that pay a lot for the river trip of their lives), and doesn't work the rest of the year to ski, and pursue his favorite sporting activities. Could I be o.k with that? Or an artist, a writer,
or any of the other various things that frankly aren't practical, or often realistic, and even if successful usually have years of frustration, and little reward beyond the passion pf loving what you do.

I have no idea what a great parent does with those things, and luckily I don't have to deal with that right now. That said I'm all about encouraging Jake (it's my own philosophy as well) to explore anything that interests him, for me that has been a wonderful hobby. I've painted when I wanted to paint, learned to cook, learned to bake, learned way to much about criminal psychology, learned about my own mental illness as well as learning about mental illness in general. I like being a "generalist", knowing a bit about all kinds of things, and enjoying all kinds of different things. That said, I've also been pretty conservative, after all I spent 20 years at my college job, because I didn't much want to go out of my comfort zone, and doing something different is completely freaking me out. I've traveled all over the world, and learned about different cultures, religions, etc. but it's all been in my head. My reality has been to stay pretty much in my comfort zone, while exploring things in the safest way possible.

So what happens if my only child wants to join the circus?

I don't know, I guess we cross that bridge when we get to it, but it is nice to know that joining the circus can lead to some pretty amazing experiences.

To be honest, I wish I had taken a year or two to be a street performer in Europe (I could have at least worked at a crepe stand or something like that). But don't tell Jake, I would be a worried mess if he did that.